You Are Not Alone
by TheCrazyFanGirl23
Summary: He feels alone ... Isolated from the world. Well who wouldn't after everything he's been through?
1. Chapter 1

His brown eyes stared out the window as rain tapped against it. He brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them as lightning struck somewhere near by. The thunder was so loud that it almost made him jump.

He looked out the window again and watched the rain pour down. Somehow he felt connected to it … like it understood him. He looked down and traced one of the particularly long scars on his arm. That one had hurt … a lot.

Lightning struck again and he quickly looked out the window to see it's jagged shape light up the sky. That shape … it was the same as … He looked down at the scar he had traced only moments earlier. His eyes widened and he quickly looked out the window again as another lightning bolt lit up the dark sky. He slowly placed his hand against the cool glass of the window. Finally, he thought, something understands me.

"It's late Soda." Darell Curtis said in a soft voice. "Time for bed."

Soda looked at Darry and nodded. Darry helped his younger brother up and put his arm around him as they walked together to the bedroom Soda shared with Ponyboy. Soda looked out the window one last time to see another similar jagged shaped lightning bolt dance across the sky. Finally, Soda thought, I am not alone …


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer-I do NOT own The Outsiders. S.E. Hinton does. I WISH I owned them, but I do NOT.**

"_Finally you're awake." A voice said from somewhere in the darkness that filled the cold room Sodapop Curtis was in. Soda's heart pounded in his chest as the person who had spoken to him circled him like an animal would right before it pounced on it's prey. _

"_Please …" Soda begged in a panicked voice. "Don't hurt me!" _

_Smack! _

"_Do not speak unless I say it is okay for you to do so!" _

_Soda didn't know what scared him the most. The slap to the face, or the fact that this guy was absolutely insane! _

"_I've been watching you for a long time now." The young man told Soda in a much calmer tone of voice. "It was so hard …" He whispered._

_Soda swallowed nervously before asking in a shaky voice, "What? What was so hard?" _

_The obviously disturbed man stared at Soda, studying him before explaining. "Watching those girls … Those stupid girls!" His voice was rising with anger. He was losing it quickly. "They followed you around day after day after day!" The psychotic man knelt down next to Soda on the floor. He was close enough that Soda could recognize his kidnapper's face, even in the darkness of what he thought was a basement of some sort. _

"_I'm sorry." Soda whispered out of fear for his life. "I'm so, so sorry." _

_David Pierce laughed and shook his head at Soda as if he knew he was lying. _

"_You're not sorry Soda, but you will be." David reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out a blade. He flipped it open almost as fast as Two-Bit can. _

"_No please!" Soda screamed in fear as he pushed himself away from his psychotic classmate, ignoring the pain that it caused him from the injuries he had received earlier. "I'm sorry!" _

_David grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pushed him to the floor so that he was lying on his back. "Shut up!" David demanded as he got on top of Soda and straddled his thin waist. "I told you already that you are NOT sorry!" Soda couldn't help it, tears streamed down his handsome face and he shook with fear._

_David wiped the tears away with his thumb and shushed him in almost a comforting sort of matter. "Shhh, Soda. It's alright." He took the knife and started to cut Soda's DX shirt off. "It'll be alright. I promise." _

_Soda watched with fearful eyes as his work shirt was slowly cut off to expose his bare chest. "You'll like it." _

"Soda wake up! You're having a nightmare! Wake up!" Ponyboy yelled as he roughly shook his older brother in a desperate attempt to wake him. Soda's eyes snapped open and he sat straight up in bed. He looked around the room with wide panicked eyes before he slowly realized where he was.

I'm home, Soda thought, I'm home in bed. He looked over at his younger brother who was staring at him with concerned greenish gray eyes.

"Are you okay Soda?" Ponyboy asked so quietly that it was almost in a whisper.

"Yeah …" Soda answered in the same quiet tone Ponyboy had used.

"Are you sure?" Pony asked with worry practically dripping off his words. "You were crying, ya' know …"

I was? Soda thought as he brought his hand up to his face to wipe away the wet trail the tears had left behind. I was crying in my sleep..?

Soda looked out the window as thunder rumbled on overhead. It was still raining …

"Let's go back to sleep Soda."

**So that's it for chapter 2 of "You Are Not Alone." I hope this gives you a better explanation as to what's going on lol. Please review and tell me how I did. The reviews really help me write =) Also I'd like to thank goldengreaser, TheGizzYall, and ConfuzzledAtLife for their reviews =) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer-Once again I do not own The Outsiders. S.E. Hinton does. Now that that's over with onto the story =)**

Ponyboy stared down at his plate as he was forced to suffer through his older brother's cooking while Darry made a plate for Soda in case he decided to get up early. Ponyboy sighed and pushed some of the slightly burned eggs around on his plate.

"Don't play with it!" Darry scolded as he looked over at his youngest brother. "Eat it. You'll need the energy." Ponyboy didn't say anything. He stopped playing with his food (if that's what you could call it), but he didn't eat it.

Darry sighed and sat down at the table across from Ponyboy. He rested his cheek on his hand and stared off into Soda and Pony's room. He could just make out the outline of his brother from the kitchen. Soda's back was facing the doorway so he couldn't tell if he was still sleeping or not. He assumed he wasn't though. Soda never got much sleep because of the constant reoccurring nightmares that always seemed to plague his fragile mind at night.

"I better get going," Pony said suddenly as he got up off his chair.

"You didn't even eat your breakfast," Darry pointed out in more than an aggressive tone than intended. Pony gave him one of those, "Are you freaking kidding me," looks and stood there stubbornly, refusing to eat the foul tasting food.

"Eat," Darry instructed. "If you're late I'll just drive you. Your test isn't until fourth period anyways."

Ponyboy mumbled something under his breath that sounded somewhere along the lines of, "Oh my freaking God," and picked up his fork. He shoveled a mouthful of eggs into his mouth and glared at his oldest brother.

"Happy?" He asked with sarcasm after he had swallowed the vile tasting eggs that was his breakfast.

Darry didn't answer but he let his brother go. Ponyboy couldn't afford to be late again anyways. He was late enough from trying to stay home with Soda after he'd have one of his "really bad" nightmares.

"Ponyboy," Darry said to the brunette when he was literally halfway out the door.

"What?" He groaned with impatience. He just wanted to be left alone.

Darry waited a moment before asking his question. "Did … Did Soda have another bad dream last night?" Ponyboy winced at the mention of Soda's nightmares.

"He has them every night Darry." There was something dark in his eyes as he said this. "I gotta go …" And with that he left. Using a little too much force on the screen door as he did.

Darry sighed and looked over at the clock. He had to get going to work soon. He got up off the chair and slowly made his way over to Soda's room. He always resented this part of the day when he had to tell Soda he was leaving for work. He always felt so guilty.

"Hey little buddy," Darry said quietly, not really sure if his kid brother was awake or not. Soda rolled over so that he was facing Darry. Darry's heart sank in his chest when he saw the worry and silent plea in Soda's eyes. He hated leaving Soda alone but he had to go to work. He just had to. "I gotta get going Soda." Soda bit his lip and nodded.

As much as Soda dreaded being left alone he knew that they desperately needed the money, and now that he couldn't work very often it made it even harder on them financially.

Darry pushed some of Soda's light colored hair back and told him, "I'll lock the door on my way out."

When Darry got up to leave Soda wanted to grab his arm and beg him to stay. It took every fiber of strength in him to hold himself back and just let his brother go. Besides, Darry and Pony both took a large amount of time off from school and work just for him.

Soda wanted to cry when he heard the front door shut, and he wanted to scream when he heard Darry's truck start up and drive away.

After his brother's truck had drove off he waited in bed for a couple of minutes before getting up to check and see if the door really was locked. He knew that Darry told him he was going to lock it but people can forget to do things sometimes.

Soda quickly hurried over to the door and when he saw that it was indeed locked he relaxed a little. They never used to lock the door because they always wanted to have it open in case one of their friends needed a place to stay, but after Dally and Johnny died, and after the whole incident with "Who's name shall not be mentioned in front of Soda" they almost always kept the door locked.

Soda felt stupid and ashamed that he was always in constant fear that something bad was going to happen. A fight, a fire, a shooting … whatever. It all scared the hell out of Soda.

Soda sighed and decided to go into the kitchen and see if Darry had left a plate out for him. If he didn't he would just make one himself.

Soda smiled a little when he saw that his brother in fact did leave a plate out for him. He knew he was lucky to have such caring brothers as them.

Soda wasn't really hungry but he knew he had to eat, so he forced himself to. But after every couple of minutes his mind went back to the front door. Is it locked? He would wonder. What if I thought it was and it really wasn't?

He would mentally slap himself each time for this because he knew it was ridiculous to worry over such a thing when he had just checked it not even five minutes ago. But … he just couldn't help it. He was paranoid all the time now.

"**Ya' know Soda … No locked door could ever keep me away from you." **

Soda's eyes widened with fear and he dropped his fork on the floor.

**Ooh suspenseful lol. So that's it for chapter three. It's a little longer than the other chapters but not much. I'm going to try and keep updating a lot but it's going to be difficult to do because of all the school work I have =/ It's fourth quarter so there's a lot of testing and sadly homework. I'll try my best though. I'd like to thank Steph36, ConfuzzledAtLife, and TheGizzYall for their awesome reviews =) I'd also like to thank ikedandude for adding me to their favorite authors list! Please review and tell me how I did =)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer-I do not own The Outsiders. S.E. Hinton does. **

Two-Bit hummed one of his favorite Elvis songs happily to himself as he went up the steps to the Curtis' porch. He was about to try and open the door when he remembered that they locked it now. He continued to hum to himself as he looked under the window sill for the spare key that was usually taped underneath it. When he found it he peeled the tape off and grabbed the key.

Two-Bit wouldn't admit it, and neither would anyone else in the gang, but they were all worried when Darry told them he was going to start locking the door. Of course they all understood that it was for Soda, and they weren't mad at him at all for it, but they couldn't help but be worried about where they would go if they needed a place to stay for the night.

Two-Bit unlocked the door and quietly went into the house. He knew better than to come barging in like he used to. The gang now has treat Soda similar to how they used to treat Johnnycake. The movie star handsome teen was just so paranoid about everything. Well … who could blame him after everything he's been through?

"Hey Soda!" Two-Bit called into the seemingly empty house. "Ya' here?" The Mickey Mouse lover heard a crash that sounded like it came from the kitchen. "Soda?" Two-Bit called with uncertainty as he made his way over to the kitchen.

What he saw next made his heart sink. A chair was tipped over onto its side (likely due from someone getting up too fast), and there was glass on the floor. But that's not what drained all of the cheerfulness out of Two-Bit. It was the look in Soda's wide brown eyes. The look of sheer pain and complete and utter terror. It killed him to see his friend like that.

"H-Hey Soda," Two-Bit stammered, "What's wrong?"

Soda looked franticly around the room before looking straight at Two-Bit.

"I … I heard him!" Soda exclaimed in a panicked voice. "He was right here! I … I know he was!"

Two-Bit raised an eyebrow up at his friend in confusion. "Who was here Soda?"

"Him!" Soda snapped. "Ya' know..! Him!"

"Sorry, but … I don't understand." Two-Bit admitted as he backed away a little from his hysterical friend.

"D- … Dav- …" Soda couldn't say it. It was too much for him. He just wanted to forget … He wanted to forget "Him" … the basement … the knives! He wanted to forget it all!

"Davi- … D-Dav …" He looked down, his shoulders shaking. "Da- …" Hot tears ran down his face. "D- …" Why can't I say it? He thought angrily. Why can't I say it!

Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Two-Bit. His gray eyes were filled with concern instead of their usual cheeriness.

"It's okay Soda," Two-Bit said so quietly that it was practically in a whisper. "Everything's gonna be alright … Okay?"

Soda bit his lip and tried to hold the tears back. He knew that if he tried to talk he would break down crying again. So he decided to nod instead.

"Alright, just … go lay down." Two-Bit instructed in a strange quiet tone of voice. "I'll clean this mess up."

"T-Thank you T-Two-Bit."

Two-Bit waved his hand in the air as if it were no big deal. "Don't worry about it. Just go lie down and get some rest. Ya' look like ya' need it."

Soda couldn't argue with that. He couldn't even remember the last time he got more than five hours a sleep at night.

Later that night after Darry and Pony got home Soda could hear Two-Bit telling Darry about what had happened. He was angry at Two-Bit for telling him but somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that he was just doing it because he was worried about him.

Soda didn't get any sleep from the time Two-Bit told him to lie down to the time Pony and Darry got home. He stayed in bed though, too embarrassed to come out and face his brothers.

Ponyboy came in at around ten thirty. Soda closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, not wanting to talk to his little brother.

Even though Soda's eyes were closed he could feel Pony's gaze on him. For a moment he thought that he had been found out. Pony's a smart kid. He could probably easily tell if someone was faking to be asleep or not.

After what seemed like forever Ponyboy finally climbed into bed and crawled over to his side. Soda felt safer with Ponyboy there and that made him angry. Well, not really angry but … ashamed. He was ashamed of himself, over what he let happen to him, and just about everything in general lately. Nothing was the same now. Nothing. The gang, his family, himself. Nothing.

Soda closed his eyes and tried to relax … forget … and accept … He didn't want to remember.

It wasn't long until he fell into a deep and disturbed sleep. But before he slipped into unconsciousness he swore he heard "His" voice whisper "I love you" into his ear.

**That's it for chapter four. Sorry about the wait. I had a lot of school work and stuff … Anyways, I would like to thank ConfuzzledAtLife, Steph36, TheGizzYall, spicygurl, ikedandude, and Uke-Roxas for all of their wonderful reviews =) The reviews really do inspire me to write 3**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer-I do not own The Outsiders. S.E. Hinton does. **

_Screams of pain echoed through the dark room. Unheard. Except for one person. The person who was causing the pain, the screams, the insanity. _

_"Please …" Soda begged. But it was no use. He knew it wouldn't stop. The pain would continue to come. It would always come. He couldn't even remember any other feeling besides pain, agony, and sorrow. _

_"You're so perfect Soda." _

_His compliments meant nothing. "He" just said them out of a sick obsession anyways. _

_"I'll do anything," Soda whispered. "Just let me go. Please …" _

_David stared down at him with a confused look on his face. Almost like he couldn't even fathom what Soda had just said to him. Why would he want to leave? Wasn't he good enough for him? _

_"Why do you want to leave?" David asked through gritted teeth. His voice becoming dangerously low. "Haven't I given you everything? Aren't I good enough? What! What is it!" _

_Soda didn't say anything. He tightly closed his eyes and tried his best to keep the tears in. If "He" saw them … He didn't even want to know what would happen. _

_David grew even more angry when Soda didn't answer. Now he thinks he's too good enough to even answer one of my questions! _

_"You son of a bitch!" David yelled while roughly flipping Soda over onto his stomach. David sat on Soda's legs and flipped out his blade. "Your gonna regret not answering me." David growled into Soda's ear as he pressed the blade against Soda's back. "You're perfect but then yet … you're so … ungrateful." _

_"I'm sorry." Soda apologized as his voice cracked from the threaten of tears that so desperately wanted to stream down his face. "I'll be better. I promise." _

_David laughed cruelly as he pressed the blade of his knife harder to Soda's back. _

_"You're not sorry." David insisted with a sick grin stretched across his pale face. "If you were-" He said as he gently slid the blade down Soda's back. Almost in a sick playful sort of way. "You wouldn't continue to be an ungrateful little brat." _

_Suddenly David moved the blade to the upper part of Soda's back and got to work. It was different though … He wasn't making long and deep gashes in his skin like he usually did … It almost seemed as if he were creating a pattern of some sort. But just because it was different didn't mean it made it hurt any less. _

_Soda clenched his teeth and fists in pain. He was doing it so hard that his nails actually cut into the palm of his hands drawing blood. _

_When David was done he stared down at the bloody mess he had made. It's perfect, he thought with a smile, just like him. _

_David got off of Soda and put the blade back into his pocket. _

_"Aw Soda," he said sadly. "Did it really hurt that bad?" _

_Soda's shoulders started to shake and there was a familiar sort of choking feeling in his throat. He was about to cry. _

_"I'm sorry Soda," Daid apologized in a quiet voice. "I was just mad … I had to fix your flaw. You're supposed to be perfect and you were being ungrateful. That's a flaw my perfect little Pepsi Cola." _

_Soda lost it when David used his nickname. Only Darry called him that … Tears streamed uncontrollably down Soda's face and sobs wracked through his scarred body. _

_"It's okay Soda," David said quietly. "Don't cry. It's okay." _

_David pulled Soda into a hug, being careful not to touch the new wound he had created. _

_"Shhh Soda, it's okay. It's over now."_

Sodapop shot up in bed. His eyes wide and his breathing heavy. I'm home, he thought, I'm home calm down!

"Soda..?" Ponyboy said tiredly while rubbing his eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah …" Soda answered in a whisper.

"Are you sure?" Pony asked, sitting up a little in bed as he did.

"I said I was fine! What don't you get about that!" Soda snapped suddenly.

Ponyboy was shocked at his brother's outburst. Soda never yelled at him …

"Sorry …" Ponyboy apologized. "I didn't mean to make you upset."

"You're not sorry! If you were you wouldn't be constantly asking me 'Are you okay Soda?' 'Are you sure Soda?' 'What's wrong Soda?' I'm fine!"

Ponyboy's eyes grew wide at this. "I …" He didn't know what to say. Soda never acted like this.

Sodapop glared at his brother before realizing that he wouldn't understood. No one would EVER understand!

Soda got out of bed and angrily stormed out of the room. He went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, locking it in the process.

He glared into the mirror and his anger only grew into rage when he saw some of the scars that covered his body. No one will ever understand.

He gripped the sides of the sink and tried to calm himself down.

"**I had to fix your flaw Soda." **

"Shut up …"

"**You're supposed to be perfect." **

"Shut up."

"**You were being ungrateful." **

"Shut up!" He screamed as he slammed his fist into the mirror. Shattering the glass and splitting his knuckles open. He didn't care though. Nothing mattered anymore.

"**My perfect little Pepsi Cola." **

Blood dripped onto the floor and Soda heard someone running towards the bathroom. He assumed it was Darry. Pony was probably following after him though.

"**You were being ungrateful." **

Soda fell to his knees, ignoring his brother who was banging on the door, ordering him to unlock it. Nothing mattered …

He felt trapped. He couldn't escape. He would never forget. "He" wouldn't let him. He was trapped inside his own body that reminded him everyday of what happened. Every scar brought up the memories. Every single scar.

He was ungrateful.

**So that's it for chapter five. I updated early because I felt bad for making you guys wait and well … because I wanted to lol. Please review and tell me how I did =) You know how much I love your reviews. Also I want to thank ikedandude, Steph36, SpiderLlamas, ConfuzzledAtLife, and spicygurl for their reviews =)**


	6. Chapter 6

When Darry had finally managed to get the bathroom door open his heart sank when he saw the sight that had to greet him. Soda had wedged himself so far in between the sink and the toilet that his back was pressed tightly against the wall. His knees were brought up to his chest and he had his face buried in them. He was shaking like a leaf and there was shattered glass from the mirror surrounding him.

"Soda …" Darry said gently as he slowly and unsurely made his way over to him. "Soda are-" Darry was cut short of his sentence when Soda had suddenly lifted his head up and kicked him as hard as he could in the stomach, actually managing to make 'Superman' fly backwards a bit.

Pony stood in the doorway and watched with wide eyes as this terrifying scene unfolded in front of him. He didn't know what to do. He was scared.

Darry pressed his arm tightly over his stomach where Soda had kicked and tried to get his breath back as he said "Soda y-"

"L-Leave me alone! Leave me alone!"

Darry and Pony both stared in concern and horror at the tear-stained and terrified expression on their brother's face as he practically screamed this. They didn't know what to do. They didn't know how to react to this. Soda had never acted this badly before.

Darry stared when he noticed the drops of blood on the tiled floor and he slowly followed their trail up to his younger brother and couldn't help but feel his eyes widen slightly at the sight of his split knuckles. The eldest Curtis brother swallowed nervously before saying as gently as he could manage, seeing the type of state Soda was in. "Aw Soda you're bleeding. Come here little buddy. I have to fix that, okay? Come here. It's all right."

Soda studied the expression on his face as he said this and glanced quickly over at Pony before nodding slightly and shakily getting up to his feet, placing his hand on the edge of the sink to help him up in the process of this.

Darry couldn't take his eyes off of the pathetic sight of his brother as he says quietly, trying to sound strong for his family, "Go get the broom Pone. We have to get this glass cleaned-" Darry was cut short once again to Soda suddenly wrapping his thin arms tightly around his waist and burying his wet face into his chest. Darry hesitated before wrapping his arms around the small, shaking form and he let his brother sob and cry all of his constant pent up and wild emotions into his shirt, not caring that it was becoming soaked with his little brother's tears. Darry was only lucky that he had not used Soda's other nickname earlier …

"Shh Soda. Shhh …"

**I want to thank Eatzo27, spicygurl, ConfuzzledAtLife, SpiderLlamas, Steph36, ikedandude, moodykate, and TheNextAmandaYoung for their comments! I'm sorry this chapter took so long to get written and updated. Life has been hectic. Please comment and tell me what you think! Positive or negative comments are welcome =)**


	7. Chapter 7

Pony had not said one word as he cleaned the glass up from the floor, or as Darry tried desperately to calm their hysterical brother down and bandage his wounds. He didn't even say anything when Darry had to take Soda to bed and lay down with him just to get him to go back to sleep. Pony now sits on the couch in their living room, simply staring off into space toward the direction of the bathroom, thinking about what Soda had done.

Darry looks back at Soda with sad eyes after he had gotten up off of the bed he shares with Pone. The strongest greaser in the gang hesitates before a little guiltily walking out of the bedroom and over to the living room after seeing his youngest brother and the expression that was on his face.

Ponyboy looks over after hearing someone walk into the room and watches as Darry sits down in his chair. He carefully studies the expression on his brother's face, trying hard to figure out what he must be thinking right now.

Darry looks away from Pony, not wanting to see the scared expression on his little brother's face any longer and doesn't want to think about his own fears as he says quietly almost in a whisper, "It's really late now Pone and you have school in the morning."

Ponyboy stared at him at he says this, taking the hint Darry was trying to throw at him and hesitates a little before getting up off of the couch and making his way over towards the room he shares with his other brother.

Darry looks over at Pony when he hears him get up and watches him go for a moment before saying with a small sigh," Soda's really bad off Pone. I-… I don't know what to do."

Ponyboy almost bitterly looks down at the hardwood floor as he says this and shakes his head a little to himself before saying bluntly, "There's nothing we can do Darry." And with that he walks off into the darkness of the bedroom he shares with Soda, leaving his eldest brother behind alone with his worried thoughts.

**Here's chapter seven. I know that it's another short one. Sorry about that … I'll be trying to write longer chapters next time. I'd like to thank Steph36 for commenting! Comments are always welcome and they always help me to write =)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer-I do not own "The Outsiders." **

Ponyboy was for once grateful that Steve had decided to come over to see Soda. He was even more grateful that he had showed up right before he had went off to school and Darry to work. That way neither of the two brothers had to take time off of school or work to stay home with the scarred teen. There was no way they were going to leave him alone. Not after what had happened last night.

Steve looked around the strangely neat room before knocking twice on the open door. The Curtis house had been kept a lot more clean since Soda was always home now and that there was not much for him to do. He would have felt even more guilty than he already does if he didn't clean. It's the least he could do for his family. Besides, it sometimes helped to keep his mind off of "Him."

Darry always manages to thank and praise him for the good job he's doing with keeping the house so clean. Soda knew that Darry's intentions were good when he thanked him but he couldn't help but feel more pathetic each time he does this. He wanted to do more. He wanted to work again. He wanted to be able to go out with Steve and pick up girls and not worry about a darn thing. He wanted to be normal.

Soda rolled over onto his other side so that he was facing the door when he heard the knock and couldn't help but feel his lips tug upwards into a large smile when he saw Steve standing in the doorway. "Hi Steve!"

Steve watched his best friend as he sat up in bed with what almost looked to be his old, prize-winning smile stretched across his face, causing the thin scar that was right above his left lip to stretch upwards a bit. "Hey Soda. Howa doin'?"

Soda shrugged his shoulders at this but couldn't manage to get rid of the smile that was on his face. He was so excited to see Steve. He hadn't seen him in a few days. "I'm okay," he said when the shrug he did didn't seem to satisfy as an answer for his best friend.

Steve knew that this was a lie. When he walked into the house he had just caught the tail-end of the conversation between Darry and Ponyboy about what had happened last night with Soda. He heard about the kick and about the broken mirror and when he saw Soda's bandaged up hand he couldn't help but to stare.

Soda followed his gaze down to his hand when he noticed it and couldn't help but to stare too at the blood that had seeped through the bandages. He slowly flexed his hand a bit before saying a little quietly, "Darry probably already told you all about last night, huh?" He felt his eyes well up slightly with tears and shook his head before saying in the same quiet tone he had used before, "Everyone in the gang will all eventually know. Won't they..?"

Steve felt a wave of sympathy wash over him as he asked this. He didn't know what to say to Soda. He couldn't lie to him … But on the other hand Darry really didn't tell him anything. He just sort of walked in on the conversation about last night.

"Darry didn't tell me anything Soda and you don't have to tell me anything either if you don't want to."

Steve stared at the expression on Soda's face, seeing that it hadn't really changed even after what he had just said and sighs before sitting down on the bed next to him. The short tempered greaser stared at his friend for a moment before putting his arm around him and saying, "It's okay Soda. You don't have to feel bad. Nobody's mad at you. And you don't have to tell me anything that you don't want to. But if you do wanna talk you know that I'm always here for ya'."

Soda nodded slightly at this but didn't take his gaze off of the floor. Steve was trying, he knew that, but he wouldn't understand. No one would be able to. The knives, the darkness, the sight and sticky feel of blood. No one would be able to.

Steve waited patiently for more of a reaction from Soda than just a nod but finally accepted that this was all he was going to be able to get out of him after a couple of more moments of waiting in silence. He stared at his best friend before saying with a small smile, trying to change the subject and to help lighten up Soda's sad mood, "Hey why don't we go outside or something. You're as pale as a ghost buddy. You could use some sun."

Steve stared at the slight fear that flashed across his friend's glassy eyes before saying a little quickly, "We don't have to go anywhere. We could just sit out on the porch. Come on Soda it's better than just sittin' in here all cooped up. Whaddya' say?"

Soda sighed for a moment and hesitated before looking up at Steve and couldn't help but nod a little at the determined look on his friend's face. Steve could be so stubborn sometimes when he wanted to be.

"Okay, but just for a little while."

Steve smiled at this and took his arm back from around Soda before standing up. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it quickly when Soda started to speak first.

"I-… I want to change first before we-….. I want to change."

The car obsessed greaser easily got the message Soda was trying to give to him. He wanted him to leave the room. Soda never really minded changing in front of the gang when he had to but now … it was a whole other story. He didn't even like changing at all because when he did he had to reveal more of his scars, more of his memories. He hated them. He hated himself.

"Okay buddy. I'll be right out in the living room waitin' for ya'."

Soda nodded and watched his friend as he went. He sighed and looked over at the window and stared at the sun that was brightly shining through it. It was a beautiful day. He smiled softly to himself but this smile soon faded when he opened the drawers to his dresser.

Steve forced himself to keep his gaze away from his friend's bedroom. No matter how badly it pained Steve to see those scars he still wanted to look. They helped to fuel his anger. He vowed to never let that bastard get away with what he had done to Soda. He always knew that that freak was weird but of course no one listened to him. He told Soda numerous times to stay away. Why didn't he listen..? He always knew.

Steve swallowed almost nervously before turning his head slightly back towards the open doorway. He needed to see it. Soda already had a clean pair of jeans on but he had yet to put his shirt on. His back was facing the doorway, giving Steve a clear view of the deep large letters that were sprawled into the upper portion of his back. "MINE," Steve read silently as unconsciously his hands slowly clenched into fists. "MINE," he read again.

**Well that's it for chapter eight =) I'd like to thank Steph36 for her review! It's always a pleasure to read hers =) Reviews are always welcome. Positive or negative ones, I don't care which. Please review and tell me what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

Steve quickly tore his gaze away from Soda when he had finished putting his shirt on. He knew that his best friend would get upset if he caught him looking at it. He didn't want anyone looking at it.

Soda sighed quietly to himself as he made his way out of his room and over to Steve. He kept his gaze on the floor and didn't even look up at him when he reached him or as he said, "I'm ready…"

Steve nodded when he said this and forced himself to fake a small smile at him. He thought for a moment about putting his arm around his friend to try and help to calm his upsetting thoughts but he decided against it and decided to lead the way over towards the front door. He held the door open for Soda until he was sure that he had got it. He didn't want it hitting him or something since all of his attention seemed to be on the floor, lost in his own little world.

"Damn it's hot," said Steve as he shielded his eyes from the sun. "Do you want to just stay on the porch or-"

"We could go for a walk," interrupted Soda quietly without looking up at his friend. "Just a small one though…"

Steve stared at Soda for a few moments before managing to say, "Sure buddy. We can do that." He was proud of him. Soda never wanted to leave the house anymore after what had happened. Not that Steve blamed him for it but… this seemed to be like a step forward. A step forward to getting the old Soda back.

The two well known friends started down the road in silence. Soda seemed content with not talking but Steve wasn't. He wanted to talk with Soda. There was still so many questions he wanted to ask him…

Steve sighed before taking his gaze off of his friend and trying to focus on something else. He didn't understand how Soda could just stare down at the ground like that and not say anything until he was pretty much forced to by someone else. He didn't understand his friend at all anymore. After a couple more moments his gaze was back on his friend wondering what the hell could be running through that mind of his…

_Soda looked up from the money he was counting when he heard someone walk into the DX and couldn't help but smile his prize-winning smile when he saw David. "Hey what are you doing here?" he asked with the wide smile still plastered across his face._

_David grinned when he asked this and looked lazily around the store for a brief moment before answering, "I just came to see you. Man this must be a boring job. Is that all you do here? Stand there?"_

_Soda shook his head when he said this and laughed a little before saying, "No I help Steve in the garage sometimes but he's way better with the cars than me. It's an okay-"_

"_Steve..?" David asked with a raised eyebrow as he leaned against the counter Soda stood behind. "That fella with the bad teeth?"_

_Soda couldn't help but laugh at this but he quickly stopped himself when he saw the smug grin on David's face. Soda didn't like to make fun of Steve. At least not out of meanness, but playfully he did a lot and was okay with it because he knew that Steve, no matter how annoyed he got at him, knew that he was only joking around with him._

"_Yeah, that Steve. He's got bad teeth but he's a real nice guy when ya' get to know him."_

_David stared down at the counter when Soda said this. He couldn't have looked less interested even if he tried. "When do you get off?"_

"_Of work?" Soda asked but when David didn't answer him he said, "Uh well I'm closing tonight so-"_

_Suddenly Steve came bursting into the store from the back door that led down to the garage, unknowingly interrupting the conversation Soda and David were having with a long rant filled with many curse words about the "damn" heat. The hot-headed greaser stopped when he saw the dark haired teen leaning against the counter like he practically owned the place. He didn't like David. He never has and never will._

"_Hot in there?" Soda asked with a grin and humorously shining eyes._

_Steve rolled his eyes in annoyance at this but he couldn't help but grin a little as he wiped the grease off of his hands and onto his jeans. "It's like a fuckin' oven in there buddy. Seriously I-"_

"_So when are you getting off?" David asked suddenly as he looked up at Soda with a smile, completely ignoring Steve and the heated gaze he was throwing towards him._

"_I told ya' I'm closing tonight," Soda answered with a small, almost awkward laugh. He knew that the unfriendly feelings Steve had towards David were mutual with the other greaser. The two just didn't get along._

_David stared at Soda for a moment after he said this before looking down at the counter. He started to trace an imaginary pattern with his finger onto the painted wood and hesitated before saying, "That's fine. I'll stay here until you get off. We could go do something later."_

_Soda smiled sheepishly at him when he suggested this. He wanted to go hang out with David, he really did, but he couldn't. He's been coming home late a lot lately and Darry hasn't been too happy about it. He could understand his older brother's annoyance though. Darry had enough on his plate already to be worrying about his younger brother coming home all right from work too._

"_Sorry David but I-… I can't tonight. Maybe tomorrow or something. I get off a little earlier then." _

_David didn't look up from the counter when he said this and he waited a few moments before nodding. "Okay," he said, "tomorrow…"_

_Steve watched as David ran his finger along the countertop in a reoccurring pattern but he looked up at him when he said this and he couldn't help but stare at the expression that was on his face. There was just something off about this guy, something very strange. He had a bad feeling about him. The guy didn't have many friends and he's heard some crazy stories about some fights he's been in. Steve was almost always willing to rumble with a guy but he only liked skin-on-skin fights. No blades. This guy was all about the blades._

"_I'll still stay here until you close up," David said as he looked up from the counter, "I don't really got nothing better to do."_

_Soda smiled at him when he said this and laughed a little before saying, "Well okay. If you want to."_

_David grinned at the smile on Soda's face and leaned against the counter more before saying, "If there's anything I can help you with just tell me. Okay?"_

_Soda couldn't help but laugh at this as he said, "Okay, I'll tell ya'. I'm not gonna complain if you really want to help out. I-… I just don't see why you'd want to but-… okay." Soda ended this with another small, amused laugh._

_David grinned a little more at this and started to tap his finger tips against the counter as he said, "I just want to help ya' Soda."_

_Soda laughed again at this before saying, "Ya' must be crazy then."_

_David snickered slightly at this and nodded to himself before looking back down at the counter and saying, "Yeah, must be crazy…"_

"We're back Soda," Steve said after he had stopped in front of the Curtis house and when Soda had kept on walking at his slow, almost careful pace.

"Huh..?" Soda said quietly as he brought his gaze up from off of the ground. He took in his surroundings and stared at his house for a moment before looking at his worried friend. He didn't even realize that they were back yet. Was he that lost in his own thoughts to even realize?

Steve stared at his friend and the expression that was on his face before faking a small smile at him and putting his arm around him. "We're back," he said with a small nod as he started to lead the scarred teen back up to his house.

**Ooh another flashback haha. I hope you liked this chapter. Please, please review! I love reviews! I'd like to thank Steph36 and AlexisLe97 for their reviews! =)**


	10. Chapter 10

Soda looked around after stepping inside, staying close against Steve with his arm around him. He felt tired suddenly. Thinking about "him" always tends to make him tired. Soda looked at Steve when he took his arm away and stared at him, wondering what he must think about him, about the whole situation.

Steve stared back at Soda. He felt nervous about the look on his face. His knitted eyebrows made him believe that he was deep in thought about something and when Soda get's deep into thought he get's upset. He didn't like where this was going.

"Soda…" Steve said quietly. "What's wrong? You don't look too good…" And he didn't look good. Not at all. There were dark circles under his eyes, his skin way too pale. The pink scars displayed obviously all over the white skin. He looked scared. Scared and sick. "Soda..?"

Soda felt his eyes water. He felt a lump in his throat start to form. That familiar choking feeling started to come back. His bottom lip quivered as he bit down onto it, feeling small and helpless. "Steve…"

Steve was worried now. He knew that something was wrong. He gently grabbed his wrist when he saw him start to shake and squeezed it lightly. "Soda-" But his name was the only word that managed to escape from his mouth before Soda had wrapped his thin arms around him, burying his face deeply into his shoulder and sobbing nearly uncontrollably, crying out "I should have listened to you! I should have listened!"

Steve had nearly stumbled backwards from the force of Soda's sudden desperate hug. His tears had already begun to soak his shirt, turning his blue shirt into a darker shade. His bony hands clung to him, his nails cutting into him as he not only held onto his shirt but onto the skin on his back to. "S-Soda..!"

"I should have! I should have listened! I should have listened! I-…" Soda stopped suddenly when he felt the scream resonating from inside of him, when he felt that unbearable emotion building up inside again even more, never having a way out. He stepped away from Steve, balling his shaking hands into fists and trying to hide his face with his hair. He bit down onto his trembling lip hard enough to draw blood in an attempt to hold in his scream, his emotions. He couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't live after what happened. After what "he" did. **"My perfect little Pepsi Cola."** It took a few moments for Soda to realize that he was screaming now and that Steve's strong arms were around him in a hug.

_Later_

He was about to sit up when he heard the front door open, knowing that Darry was home from work but he stayed laying down next to Soda when his small hand grabbed onto his shirt, gripping it desperately as he inched closer to him. Steve stared at the dried tear stains on his face sadly before gently trying to wipe them away with his thumb. He didn't care how pathetic this looked. He didn't care about how the guys would react if they saw them in this position. He only cared about Soda. He only cared about his best friend.

"I'm sorry," Soda said in a whisper. He had already said this numerous times before hand, he even cried it to him after Steve had managed to get him to stop screaming but he still continued to say it. This was starting to bother Steve. He needed Soda to realize that there was nothing for him to be sorry about, nothing for him to be ashamed about. Especially after what he had went through…

"Stop saying that," he nearly whispered back to him.

"Soda?"

Steve craned his neck to the side to look for Darry and sat up once he saw him walking over towards the room despite Soda's whiny protest. The eldest Curtis brother stared at Steve once seeing him, most likely wondering what the hell he is doing in bed with his brother.

Soda was still whining. He was even reaching up to Steve with his hand, indicating that he wanted him to lay back down. He wanted him close to him. He was desperate for comfort.

"Soda," Darry said gently after taking his suspicious gaze off of Steve. "Soda are you okay? How are you doing buddy..?" He took a couple of steps towards his younger brother and stared when he saw him grab onto Steve's shirt, tugging downwards on it as he tried to get him to lay back down.

"Steve please. I-… I need you. I need you."

**It's been a long time since I updated this… I'd like to thank Steph36, Forever Alexis, and pixie4sparks for their reviews! Please review this and tell me what you think!**


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